My Big Secret

So, this is kind of funny. I've started this silly blog, but I'm too shy to actually let anyone know about it. I was already so vulnerable in my first post, that I don't want anyone reading it, even my husband (especially that last line). I wonder if or when I'll let the cat out of the bag. But I'm also too embarrassed to tell anyone about it, because that would seem like assuming that they might want to read it. And who would really be interested? Oh, the risk of rejection is almost too much to handle. I think I have some serious issues I need to address.

I have become a fairly addicted blog reader myself, which is another reason I want to keep this to myself. I'm horrible at comparing myself to others in every way, so why would my blog be any different? I read some that are funny, which I aspire to be, but know I'm not. I read many that are inspiring, but they are really just depressing to me because I know I am nowhere close to being as godly a person as many of these other people are. Many, in addition to being inspiring, are about people who have faced or are facing horrible tragedy. Obviously, I don't want that to describe me. Am I bringing disaster on my family by starting this thing?

And here I am exposing my neurotic self! I seem to have several choices to make. (Have I mentioned I'm a horrible decision-maker?) First of all, do I continue to be my real, unfunny, slightly depressing, pessimistic, neurotic self in my posts or do I pretend to be a slightly amusing, always happy, wisdom-enfused woman who is a fabulous mother and an always helpful and submissive wife? Hmmm... Secondly, do I give my family members creative and quirky blog names or do I save myself the stress and brain-power of trying to come up with something creative and quirky and just use their real names? Thirdly (is that a word?), do I ever reveal my deep, dark secret that I am a blogger, letting people peer into the dark recesses of my sometimes scary mind (assuming anyone ever would) or do I use this as my personal journal that allows me to avoid hand cramps? Decisions, decisions. Maybe I should do a poll of my readers. But wait...I suppose I would need at least one reader for that.

Oh, the problems that come with starting a blog. That's just what I needed, something else to stress about. I'm going to take some time to rethink this whole thing. Or maybe I'll just eat breakfast.


  1. :) I like your neurotic self. I see so much of the same neurosis (is that a word?) in myself. Knowing that you now have a blog makes me smile.


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