The Cat in the Hat's Not Too Happy 'Bout That

I think I have a problem and its name is Nutella. Why did people ever have to come up with stuff like this? Couldn’t we have just settled for some nice fruits and veggies with a little chicken thrown in? But no. We had to take food to this whole new delicious, calorie-laden, tempting level. And then we put coupons in the newspaper for it so I feel totally justified in buying it because it’s a good deal, after all. Ugh. We are headed for jean season and jeans and Nutella are not a good combination.

I would like to tell you that my long bloggy absence has been because I’ve been feeding starving children (besides my own) or so engrossed in reading my Bible that I’ve had time for nothing else. (I have read it, mind you, but not to the exclusion of computer time, which is quite a bad thing, probably.) However, I’m going to have to be truthful with you. I haven’t had the time to write because Maddie made a C on her math test, Jack had to be the Cat in the Hat, Luke apparently needs snacks around the clock, and SAM IS WALKING EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME. Or something like that. Life is crazy, and I’ve actually been trying to get some sleep for a change.

Actually, it’s because I was being all domesticated and canning pear honey. That’s right. I have now canned something. I know. It’s unbelievable. I feel like I’m living someone else’s life. Pretty soon I’ll be sewing all my kids’ clothes and churning butter. My mom, Emily and I (with some help from my aunt as well) spent a total of 12 hours peeling, processing, cooking, and canning and ended up with 41 jars of pear honey. “What’s pear honey?” you might want to know. It’s pears in the form of heaven that you can spread on a biscuit (which I did tonight). I would invite you over to try some, but I only have twelve jars. That’s one a month for the next year which is clearly not enough.

Now, back to my adorable offspring (who are so blessed to have such a domesticated mother who does thing like can pear honey). So apparently my daughter is not as passionate about good grades as I was am. Now that sweet little daughter of mine wants to keep her parents happy, so she’s trying…until her mind wanders and she forgets to try anymore. Really, she’s an angel, so I can’t really complain about a few less than stellar math performances. And God has been giving me the “Is this really worth getting upset over aren’t you glad you have such a wonderful – and smart – daughter who loves me and is hiding My Word in her heart so who cares if she isn’t a math genius” speech. It has made me realize that what I’ve always said is true: My goal for my children’s lives is for them to love the Lord their God with all their hearts, souls, minds, and strength.” It is not for them to be valedictorian, get a full ride to college (not that I would mind), get a great paying job, get married, and have 2.5 kids and a nice retirement fund. I want them to be passionately in love with Jesus. But an A in math wouldn’t be too bad either.

Jack puzzles me. He was beside himself with excitement over Character Dress-Up Day at school last week. Thankfully, he went with the whole Cat in the Hat idea (rather than wearing the fleece Chihuahua outfit when it was 97°) and we went to work assembling his homemade costume. Nana came to the rescue with a hand-sewn tail the night before the big day, and we were all set. The costume was delicately laid out on the bed and we all went to sleep all snug in our beds with visions of hatted cats dancing in our heads. But the next morning brought a marked lack of excitement. Jack was all dolled up, complete with tail, whiskers, bow around the neck, and, of course, the hat. And that’s when the tears started amid declarations of “I don’t want to go dressed like this. I feel scared.”

Even as I type this, I am having to pause for a moment to get my composure. Thankfully, that morning I closed my lips just as the words “What in God’s green earth are you talking about? We put all this effort into this stinkin’ costume and you WILL be the Cat in the Hat if it’s the last thing you ever do” came out. I think I managed to say something a little more encouraging (and take the pictures you see above). Can someone just tell me if it’s normal for a first grade boy to begin crying out of fear of appearing as a cat in a hat? Is there a name for this sort of phobia? I just don’t know about him sometimes. He did manage to pull himself together and wipe the one lone tear from his face before it smeared his perfect eyeliner whiskers. I know. I'm being heartless again.

I will say that I was a little nervous as we pulled into carline and it took me a few moments to spot another kid dressed up as a book character. There was a knot in my stomach as the thought “Have we gotten the wrong day?” tumbled around in my mind. But I spotted a fairy of some sort and knew we were in the clear. He got out of the van the cutest Cat in the Hat there ever was. When he came home with no part of the costume anywhere on his body, I was a little miffed and asked him when he had taken it off. He incredulously replied, “I wore it the whole time until we went to P.E.” I’m pretty sure they go to P.E. at 9:05. But did I mention he’s doing great in math? And he’s getting baptized soon! And this boy can memorize Scripture like nobody's business.

What can I say about Luke? He’s the funniest kid I’ve ever known. Or at least the funniest one who has ever lived in my house. But it’s the kind of funny I just don’t think I can capture on a computer screen. So I won’t even try. I will just mention that he ordered his own lunch the other day at Chuy's right off the menu, then promptly handed the menu to the waitress and went back to munching his chips. He's three.

And my baby Sam has had the nerve to start walking. (I took a great video of it for ya'll and now I can't get it to upload. I was so proud of myself for being so techno-savvy. It seems I counted my chickens before they were hatched.) I don’t mean a few bumbling steps. He’s full-on walking and doing it nonstop as long as he’s awake. This week is much better, but the two before this were horrible. Even after four kids, I’m a nervous wreck when they start walking. They fall down constantly and you realize that you have approximately 1.37 million sharp edges in your house. I just followed him around for two weeks trying to buffer any and all falls. I know I’m ridiculous. But now he is much steadier and only has about four bruises on his forehead. He is so precious I could dip him in Nutella and eat him up with a spoon. Of course, I could dip pretty much anything in Nutella and eat it with a spoon, so that’s not really saying a whole lot. But I do love me some sweet Sam. And rumor has it he has a birthday coming up, but it can’t be true because he was just born a few weeks ago.

I’ll be back soon to share all of the thoughts I’m having concerning my upcoming Happy Feet mission trip to Guatemala, which will prove once and for all that I am a completely neurotic scaredy cat. But I don’t typically wear a hat.


  1. Amy, you are hilarious! I don't even know what to say! Yeah for the pear honey-and yes, it is deliciousness on a biscuit. And Nutella! How dare they put that coupon in the paper? I saw it as justification to buy two instead of my usual one. I try to hide that one, but they kids always find it. And now I have two. Oh, the temptation.

    Yes, I think it is a big secret among moms, but 1st grade boys cry at a lot. Sometimes I am just like, "What? I didn't know PMS could happen to a seven year old boy?"

    I am so glad you are my leader this year!!!!!

  2. I couldn't help but laugh when I read the paragraph about your being nervous in car-line on dress-up day. I do it every. single. time the kids are dressed funny for school. I always worry that I've gotten the wrong day, until I see a few kids also dressed up. Christian always says his tummy "feels funny" about wearing something weird, until he sees other kids dressed that way too!


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