I'll Have a Blue (Couple Days After) Christmas

I love Christmas. The whole month of December is just wonderful. The fact that I can listen to non-stop Christmas music as I wash dishes or sit by the beautifully lit Christmas tree as I fold laundry makes even those daily chores so much more enjoyable. I love the full social calendar, the days of yummy food that is not chicken fingers and mac'n cheese, and the anticipation of fun days and time with family and friends ahead. There's only one problem with the whole Christmas season. It always comes to an end.

I'm just really weird. (Surprise!) As I'm enjoying all that makes Christmas what it is, in the back of my mind I am preparing myself for the fact that it will end and January will stretch before me with it's long, cold, dark, dull days. If you haven't already noticed, I'm a bit of a glass-is-half-empty girl. I don't like that fact, but it's true nonetheless. I just can't seem to completely enjoy an experience, like Christmas or a vacation, without preparing myself for the big let-down at the end. I guess I'm afraid that if I don't prepare myself, the let-down will take me off guard and I'll feel like I was hit with a 2x4 of laundry, backed-up work, and everyday life. I prefer an easy smack in the face rather than a full-on blunt force trauma to the skull. And, since it is now Demember whatever day it is after the 25th, I'm a little bummed.

I did not want to take the decorations down (but, boy, am I glad that chore is behind me) and I do not want to get back to the daily grind of school, housework, seminary for Chris, (oh, yeah - and work for Chris period), and the tons of other things we do on a daily basis around here. I know there are some who long for the routine and stability of "normal life," but I'm not one of those people. I love the fun, fun, fun and the lazy freedom of time off from "life." I'm a pleasure-lover. And one other kind of important fact that makes this winter seem especially unappealing is that it will contain the MOMENT OF DECISION. That's right. A trip to the dreaded St. Maarten. (Okay, I know that's not a dreaded place for most of you, but that's because you visit it as a cruise destination, not as a "this could be my new home" destination.) Ugh. I can't even think about it. Only I AM thinking about it every waking minute of my life.

Now that I have wandered down this long, winding, somewhat depressing path, I will end this post on a lighter note. I will share with you two really great things about the days and months after Christmas. First of all, I spent the dreaded December 26 with my favorite 7-year-old doing very fun mommy and daughter things, which was our Christmas gift to her. We began the afternoon sharing sesame chicken without the distraction of one talkative brother and one very rowdy brother. Then I took her to get her ears pierced! She finally convinced me and she has declared it the best gift ever. As a distraction from the throbbing ear lobes, we went bowling and then I watched her happily lick an ice cream cone while repeatedly telling me how much fun she was having. So sweet! We wrapped up the day with a trip to see her pony. (Yes, she's the luckiest little girl in the world. Only I don't believe in luck.) It was a wonderful day and made the day after Christmas no longer one of my least favorite days of the year.

And the second thing (I know I'm long-winded) that makes after-Christmas exciting is anticipating our trip to Disney World. Now, some of you may remember this post, where I wrestled with lavish trips to this very location, among other things. In this particular situation, I feel at peace accepting the gift of a trip (not money) from my family which includes my children spending time with their grandparents and enjoying a special blessing. I can honestly say that we have tried and succeeded in using our finances more for God's purposes this year than ever before, and God is taking me on a path where He is asking me to be willing to give all that I have financially, relationally, emotionally, etc to follow Him. So, I am okay with receiving this blessing from him and from those who love me - and my kids. :) I am excited about the trip, but I am being careful to keep my focus where it needs to be and keeping my priorities in line with His. Please don't think I'm trying to justify it. I only desire to be transparent and not say one thing and then do another. We do still wrestle greatly on a daily basis with how God would have us use our lives, our time, and our money to glorify Him, and we take the decisions on a daily basis as well.

Though Christmas has passed for another year, I must say, it was wonderful and I am blessed. Now for 2010. I'm scared to find out what this year holds, but glad I know Who holds this year.


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