A Girl Between Two Worlds

Okay, okay. I was totally heading to bed after dozing on the couch during the news, but I've had this post rambling around in my head for two days. It's time for it to come out. I can tell it will not be eloquent as I struggle for the words to express my thoughts in this area, but I will just let it spill out and hope it makes sense and doesn't offend anyone.

I briefly mentioned homeschooling in my last silly post, and I wanted to get my thoughts and feelings on this topic out there for all you people who are losing sleep over what my thoughts and feelings on homeschooling are. (It looks like I'm the only one actually losing sleep here!) I really do feel caught between two worlds many times, not fully belonging to either one. It may sound a little dramatic (maybe because it is a little dramatic), but it's true. As a result of my last eleven years as a part of Community Bible Study, I am friends with many moms who homeschool their children. Yet, I am also friends, through church and many other places, with lots of moms who send their kids to public school. While my children do attend school, I totally get and completely admire families who school at home.

There are many reasons that parents decide on one path for their family or the other. The more I am around homeschoolers, the more I seem to agree with the way they're raising their children. My primary goal is not for my children to grow up to be well-educated adults with "successful" careers. My daily prayer for them is that they would be men and women who love the Lord their God with all their hearts, souls, minds, and strength, which would lead them to love their neighbors as themselves in real, practical ways. If I were ever to homeschool, it would either be out of necessity (like if we had moved to a little bitty island) or because God called me to spend more time in intense spiritual training with my children. I truly feel like they're in great schools with teachers who instruct them more creatively and much more effectively than I could - as far as a secular education. My one pull to homeschool would just be to spend more time with them in God's Word and training them in righteousness. I see the Godly children that many of my homeschooling CBS friends are raising and I am amazed and excited by that. I am also inspired in many ways be these Godly moms and the time and effort they are pouring into their families.

All that said, why would I not be schooling my children in the home? For the same basic reason that many of my friends do: God's plan for our family. I have struggled over the past year, especially with the St. Martin decision, concerning what I should be doing as far as my children's schooling. I have been surrounded by awesome women who are raising mighty warriors for Christ through homeshooling, and I have found myself completely agreeing with their reasoning. (But, of course, there are those who are doing the same things while their kids go to public school.) Yet, I did not feel a peace about that being God's calling on my life, for which He would equip me. But it didn't make sense to me, because so many times I feel so out of place with public school parents (not my personal friends, but a general group of people I have interaction with but don't really know). The priorities of our family seem so different than theirs, and my worldview is radically different many times. Was I just being selfish by shipping my kids off?

I found myself feeling like I didn't totally belong to either group of friends. There was always a sense of guilt and spiritual inferiority around my homeschooling friends (totally self-imposed) and a sense of just being out of my element and having different views around public school parents. But one day before we went to St. Martin to check things out, God just gave me a peace about the guilt of not homeshooling. It was as if He whispered to me, "There is no reason to feel guilty about something I haven't asked you to do. I didn't create you for this at this time, and that's okay." I've had to remind myself of that moment quite a few times since then, when I can feel the guilt or doubt creeping back in, but for the most part, I've just let it go.

Still, the worries of sending my children into an environment that did not always agree with what we were teaching them and the concerns of them being around people who do not worship God above all else were a little unsettling at times. Recently, I was at a big meeting for parents of upcoming third graders. They were discussing the huge emphasis they put on reading at that grade level, and a certain series of books kept being mentioned as books the kids chose to read. I won't name any names, but they're a popular series of novels that we have already agreed our children will not be allowed to read. My mom alarm went off, and I questioned my presence at that meeting and my childrens' presence in that school. Once again, gently, I heard that still small voice, "You tell your children that we're different and we will not be reading things that do not honor God. Period. They're in the world, but not of the world." Therefore, I will spend the time they are at home, and when we are coming and going, to train them in the way they should go.

So, for now, this is where God has our family. I definitely do not know what the future holds, but I want all my friends to know, no matter where your children learn and who their teachers are, that I admire and respect you for following God's plan for your family. I totally see both sides of the issue and love that God has a specific plan, purpose, and calling for each individual and family that belongs to Him. I give Him my insecurities about this issue, and I'm thankful that, in the body of Christ, we can pray for and support one another as we each seek Christ in our lives and our homes. He is shaping each one of us and each of our children to be the vessels He wants us to be in order to do the job He has assigned for us. Praise Him for His infinite wisdom and His unfathomable ways. And thank you all for being my friends in Christ and giving me the opportunity to learn so much from you about raising Christ-centered children .

Deuteronomy 6: 4-9 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.


  1. Great post Amy. A book you may be interested in is "Going Public: You're child can thrive in public school".

  2. This was a great post. I am sure my kids will be among the public school ones but hopefully we can instill our family values at home. But I can totally see the struggle ahead, like saying you will not read those books but school says it is okay.

    I think everyone needs to read this sentence!
    It says it all..My primary goal is not for my children to grow up to be well-educated adults with "successful" careers. My daily prayer for them is that they would be men and women who love the Lord their God with all their hearts, souls, minds, and strength, which would lead them to love their neighbors as themselves in real, practical ways.


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