spring smorgasbord

That's what you're getting. A random, very long smorgasbord of May happenings. This should really be about four posts, but who has that kind of time? Not this girl. So, you're getting one giant plate of random family fun and events. It's feast or famine around this blog, so enjoy the feast. Grab your fork and your spoon and let's go.

May has been full of fun at our house. I've already gotten a taste of summer heat, which I will be experiencing for the first time as a pregnant girl, and it's been not so great. I've found the older I get, pregnant or not, the more the heat just doesn't agree with me! Of course, this is from the same person who hates being cold (though I do love snuggling up on the couch with a hot cup of coffee in winter) and who was so ready for this long, dreary winter to end. But, the sweat! I'm an absolute nut when it comes to being clean and spending even a few minutes dripping sweat in the summer sun makes me feel completely icky until my next shower. Basically, I'm a big, spoiled baby who wants it to be about 70 degrees, sunny, and not humid everyday.

So, I didn't really intend to start out whining, and the spring sunshine has been wonderful. I've gone on refreshing spring walks about six whole times in the last two months, so I should be in tip-top shape before long. I'm pretty much ready to start my own fitness video and program. You know, the one for people who really like the idea of exercise, being healthy, and having a killer body but who are just too lazy and/or busy to do anything about it and want someone to make them feel okay about getting old and flabby. So, how many copies would you like to order?

Really, now I'm on to the point of this post: all the fun we've had this month. It actually does have something to do with the whole hot and sweaty topic from earlier. The two oldest Bonds played Upward soccer for the last two months, which means I spent several Saturday mornings roasting my rear off. If you're not familiar with Upward, it's a Christ-centered sports program where everyone is supposed to be nice and not care who wins games and unimportant stuff like that. Of course, I, being a stellar Christian, would never care if my child's team won and would never be constantly asking the parents sitting next to me what the current score was. And I would never be frustrated with our team and want to yell at them on how to improve their performance and score, for the love, before we LOSE! And my husband, a former high school player and coach, would never get frustrated with his two darling children who are slightly less aggressive than necessary to smear the other team into the dewy green grass. So, as you can see, we're totally suited to Upward sports and would never consider putting our children in one of those leagues where petty, immature parents actually want their children's teams to win and win big.

Maddie's team (which may or may not have won all but one game, if anyone was keeping score) was so fun to watch this year, mainly due to the fact that the kids can actually grasp some of the strategy and skills of the game rather than just running in a clump, fighting their own teammates for the ball, and then kicking it into whichever goal is nearest, which is not necessarily the goal their team is aiming for. In the last game of the year, she scored her first - and then her second - goal. The fire was lit. She had tasted the sweet flavor of victory and was after more. Unfortunately, as I said, that was the last game of the season, so we'll hope she can remember the sweet taste next spring.

Jack, on the other hand, mainly tasted the sweet flavor of .... snacks. His first, and really only, concern before, during, and after each and every game was what snack they were going to have that day. His Papa even resorted to the not-so-ethical tactic of whispering to Jack, "You know, the ball is filled with snacks and when you kick it really hard, all the snacks will come pouring out." He had Jack going for a minute, but it didn't last. Despite his insistence that he was playing really hard and trying his very best to score a goal, the only time Jack got within five feet of the ball was when the coach asked him to throw it or kick it in to start play or when another player would inadvertantly kick it right to Jack. In that instance, he would look down at the ball as if it were the strangest thing he'd ever seen and an object he had absolutely no idea what to do with until another player would run up and kick it away. Then he would frustratedly complain (as play was still going on) that the other guy had just come and taken the ball away from him (you know, just a second before he was going to return to consciousness and kick it or something). It was painful to see Chris, Mr. Aggressive Soccer Guy, watch his oldest son be completely disinterested in playing well or, you know, making contact with the ball. But he did look cute in his uniform, so all was not lost.

Don't be fooled. He was kicking off after the other team scored, when no one else is around him to compete for the ball. But doesn't he look good doing it?

His funny little team - the Tigers (formerly known as the Sea Lions, for those of you closely following 4-year-old Upward Soccer).

Jack in his truest form. Head covered in sweat. Mouth covered in Gatorade and cookie crumbs.

Naturally, Luke couldn't be left out of the fun. Aspiring soccer star that he is, he assembled his own version of "coccer game, kick ball" at home one day.

Now onto the second reason this was a fun month. Our first-born child turned eight years old this month. I feel like I've fallen into a time warp and zoomed to a point in the distant future when my chubby-cheeked baby girl is an all-too-grown-up young lady who only slightly resembles the curly-headed snuggle bunny I once knew. I am so proud to have her as my daughter and very disturbed that I recently found myself in a roller-skating rink celebrating her birthday. Wasn't it just yesterday that we were having a princess tea party? Ugh! Before I know it, it'll be Sweet Sixteen (which should be called Sick Sixteen for parents who will be worried to death with their kids on the road alone). I just can't bear it!

I do have to say that I laughed harder on this night than I have in a very long time. I'm pretty sure most of the people there were wondering what the thirty-something pregnant lady was doing sitting on the wall alone, laughing so hard that tears were running down her face. I know I'm a cruel, heartless person, but something about watching three second grade girls fall flat on their bottoms about every 2.5 seconds and one tired daddy constantly pulling them back up and trying to get all of them around the rink at the same time just tickled my funny bone. We were there an hour and a half, and I don't think all three of them were on their feet at the same time for more than four seconds. Just when I'd think they were getting the hang of it, whomp! Their feet would fly up and their heads would disappear. As I was giggling uncontrollably, I was also praying that we wouldn't end up in the e.r. with a broken bone that night. Figuring they were exhausted and discouraged, I would ask one of them if they were ready to go and they would answer, "No! This is so fun! I'm getting good at it now." WHOMP. Whatever you say.

Just when you thought I couldn't possibly have anything left to say, I do! We've wrapped up the end of the month with school programs, graduations, and parties. Maddie and Jack are both making significant transitions to new schools in August. Jack has graduated 4K with flying colors, completely able to write his full name, read some basic words, and properly open most of the items in his lunch. I'd say he's ready for "big school." I'm just not sure how he's going to make it through more than one day at a time without an hour-long nap. That boy needs his sleep. And his mama needs his sleep, too.

Maddie wrapped up her time in primary school with her rendition of Amelia Earhart in her class program on famous Americans. She was very convincing in her oversized leather jacket, giant work goggles, and backward toboggan, if I do say so myself. Her little biographical speech was delivered perfectly. She may have a future in acting.

With second grade completed, she will be going to intermediate school, which is between tiny, cute little kid primary school and scary, puberty-stricken middle school. Intermediate school doesn't freak me out so much as knowing the next big step will be to the dreaded phase of life where zits, hormones, and body odor make their appearance. Oh, heaven help me when that day arrives. We already have so many emotional, tear-filled days of self-absorption, and I don't know how I'll handle anymore.

So, that's our month in a nutshell. We're ending it with a bang, though. First, a late-night visit to the emergency room (which must constitute a post of its own), the verdict on the sex of Bond Baby #4, and a visit from Crazy Uncle Matt and Loveable Aunt Emmy. I know you're hungry for more, but I wouldn't want us to be gluttonous. Tune in soon for a great big helping of blog dessert.


  1. Delicious! I'll take a couple copies of that excercise video. One for upstairs, one for down - you know, in case I feel like working out but am too lazy to move to a different floor. :-)

  2. I don't think my last post went through so just in case I'll say it again. Hilarious post! I love Jack's soccer playing description.

  3. Too cute and funny! Really great pictures too! You crack me up and reading your blog is one of my favorite highlights of the day :)

  4. I am literally wiping away tears of laughter, Amy! Your description of Jack playing (or not, as the case may be) soccer sounds exactly like Christian. And the whole "We're not supposed to keep score, but..." You could be inside my head! Hilarious!

    And then you top that off with the story about the girls' skating attempts! Loved the pictures! I would have been dying laughing too. So glad they had a good time!


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