UPDATE: Here is a group shot. It's not great, but you get the idea...

UPDATE #2: Okay, peeps, here is another one. That's all I'm giving you. :) (Notice the sweet homemade fan that Maddie made me. I personally think it's the highlight of the costume. And, yes, I did try to fix my hair differently. This is proof that it only does one thing.)

Just in case any of you ever get the idea that Chris and I are not 100% committed to our sweet newlywed Sunday school class, I'd like to give you a brief summary of what I did for that group of people last night. (Okay, we all know it won't be brief.) I'm sorry to inform you that, in addition to about 12 other things, we honestly forgot the camera, so I do not currently have any pictures to share with you. However, I know for a fact that there are some extremely humbling photos and even video out there somewhere that will probably surface at some point. I live in fear of that, let me tell you.

So, our sweet co-teachers (they really are sweet, but I am using the word a little sarcastically at this point) planned a delightful murder mystery party for our wild group of nearly/newlyweds. It is at times like these that the fact that Chris and I are oldyweds with lots of kids who are just boring, tired, and content to stay home and watch a movie becomes really obvious. We are no longer trying to fool ourselves or anyone else and will readily admit that we are sticks in the mud...deep in the mud. Anyway, we reluctantly agreed to this, but we did so not knowing the full story. Just a couple of weeks ago, we were made aware of the fact that our sweet, non-sports-fan friends had planned the party on the very night and at the very time of the Alabama/Penn State game. If you don't understand the significance of this, I am not going to try to explain it. We should have just let you go in our place.

So, with a somewhat not-so-Christian attitude, we gathered our costumes (which I must thank the non-sports-fan friends for finding for me), loaded our children in the van (which is now very clean thanks to my husband), and dropped them off at my parent's house (the children, not the costumes). Let me point out that Nana and Papa were also sacrificing by letting three kids spend the evening with them while they attempted to watch the game. We tried to make it very clear to Jack that he wasn't to ask Papa to play games or change the channel, but his response was always (insert whiny voice): "But football is so boring." I thought we'd done an okay job parenting him, but we've obviously fallen short of the mark. Football...boring? He has so much to learn.

I refused to put my costume on my very pregnant body until we were in the driveway of the house where the party was being held. The only comforting thing about a costume party is that there is always someone there in a sillier costume than you're wearing, though a pregnant geisha is pretty comical. I'm pretty sure if a geisha were to be nine months pregnant, she'd need to find another occupation. There was a very impressive homemade mermaid costume, which only slightly outdid Chris' homemade pirate costume. We put all of about 12 minutes into creating it, so it was no wonder it was so amazing. (I did enjoy watching Chris wear his jagged pirate capris into Publix while about 153 other people were there getting their food for the big game. Yes. Everyone else in Alabama was watching football.)

I am not an actress, so I was very nervous about playing my part in this whole murder mystery dealy. But, once I arrived, I figured...I'm here, I might as well do this thing. So, I spent the evening pretending to be a snobbish, judgmental, germaphobe fashion model who was considering assassinating an extremely obnoxious professional wrestler, who just happened to be played by none other than Chris Bond. (I suppose it wasn't too hard for me since most of that describes me, other than the fashion model.) Yes, the star of Sam Houston University's 1987 production of The King and I finally made his big acting comeback. I really don't see how the theater community has done without his captivating presence for so long. You see, he had me convinced prior to last night at 6:30 that he didn't want to participate in this whole thing, but once the curtain went up, he embraced his character and really seemed to enjoy it. Of course, it might have helped that his character acted like Chris would secretly love to act everyday in real life. There was food being thrown, spaghetti being eaten without a fork, insults being yelled, and generally bad behavior. It quickly became apparent that the very unloved "Royal T" was to be the murder victim. I was actually relieved when he turned up stabbed because it meant he had to quit acting like some really obnoxious character that I'm sure Adam Sandler has played, but who I don't know because I really can't stand those silly and obnoxious kinds of movies.

At this point, I'd love to be able to explain the point of the whole evening, but I haven't really figured it out yet...except to have fun. I will say, it was more fun than I thought, but not the funnest thing ever, and not something I really want to do again anytime soon. I guess it does create another level of bonding for the group to see each other dressed so ridiculously and acting so silly. Like I said, it was humbling. Of course, I haven't told you the most humbling parts of the whole evening. At the time of the awe-inspiring performance, I thought dancing (nine months pregnant and dressed like a geisha, mind you) like an 80's dancer (which to me meant our pathetic imitation of "Walk Like an Egyptian" and doing the robot) in front of everyone was to be the most embarrassing moment of the night. However, I found out later that it was actually the rap I performed (still nine months pregnant and dressed like a geisha) about a pizza delivery man who died from eating a pig he ran over with his car. Please don't ask. I just want to be clear that I was not drunk. I don't know if that makes it better or worse.

I think last night was a great example of why God doesn't always show you the whole road before you when He asks you to step out in faith. I'm pretty sure if I'd gotten even a momentary glimpse of myself as I was last night a year ago when we signed up to lead this class, I would have had to decline the opportunity. Ahhh, the sovereignty of God...and His obvious sense of humor...amaze me.


  1. Pictures please..... :)

    You are hilarious!

  2. HA HA HA! I want to hear this rap. :)

  3. Ok I have to admit that I was trying to figure out the whole time reading this what it had to do with a dedication (think baby dedication!). Finally, it dawned on my slow self that you were speaking of dedication to your claaaasss! I'm trekking with ya now. :) Hilarious post btw! Gave me some great chuckles.


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