Glimpses of Grace

Grace. It's been a theme with me and God lately. Okay, it's been a theme with God forever, but He's been gracious enough (hee, hee) lately to give me more glimpses into His grace. I have been wrestling with and struggling with some things over the last couple of months. There's nothing like wrestling with God to get you in shape spiritually, but it can be agonizing at times. It's as if the Lord takes us into these isolated seasons of stretching and growing our hearts and minds to more closely match His, and the growing pains can be difficult to bear.

In these stretching times, it's easy to feel alone. It's easy to feel panicked, to feel burdened, to feel confused and discouraged. Yet you know that the Lord is at work. There is a restlessness in your bones and a fire within you that just refuses to go out. Emotions and thoughts and desires collide and it's as if the Lord is sifting through all of them, removing what does not match His heart and leaving the traces of Himself behind.

In all of this sifting, I have cried out to Him for guidance and grace...to be able to hear Him and see Him, because sometimes it seems as if He's so far off. Eventually, He opened my eyes to evidence of grace that had been staring me right in the face, yet had remained veiled to me. The biggest manifestation of grace: my husband. Sometimes I long for Jesus to be with me, in the flesh. I know "He's always with me," but sometimes I just crave more. I crave an audible voice. I crave a physical touch. A few weeks ago, I was desperate. I was in such turmoil that I cried out to the Lord, asking Him why He could not physically be with me...why it had to feel like I was talking to the air so much of the time.

Then He removed the veil and I saw it: My husband is, for me, the embodiment of Christ. Okay, you know I don't mean Chris is God and Jesus has overtaken His body in some supernatural alien kind of deal. But in Ephesians 5, Paul draws the parallel between a Godly marriage and Christ and His bride. Marriage is meant to be a picture of Christ and the church that He died for. By God's grace, He has made my husband into a picture of Christ to me. Chris is grace with hands and a mouth. He is my encourager, my leader, my friend, the one who loves me on my unloveliest days, the one who will give me a hug of affection or comfort. He doesn't hold a grudge or burden me with guilt over my failures. He is always telling me who I am to him, even when I don't often feel like I'm that Godly person he's describing. He sees me as the Lord sees me...full of potential and being made new in Christ. I don't say it well or often enough to Chris, but my love for the Lord and understanding of grace has grown through my relationship with my husband. And now I know why the Lord is for marriage. I know why it's so important to Him and why it is sinful and damaging for us to alter the beautiful, earthly reflection of Christ and His bride that the Lord created marriage to be. What a gift.

I can't help but think that this knowledge of His grace in marriage and this blessing of a Christ-like husband is both the answer to a young girl's longing and prayer, as well as a middle-aged mama's cry for the presence of Christ. How amazing the Lord is to have His grace living right under my nose in such an ordinary place. He is using my husband as a vessel of honor.

Ask God to give you glimpses of His grace in your life today and believe that He will. He loves for His grace to be displayed and loves to bring a smile to your soul. He delights in you.

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