The Daily Dilemma

This has been a rough mommy week for me, and not a much better wife week. I could probably say that about every week, but it's especially true this week. I'm pretty sure I'm the meanest mom on the planet. My kids would probably agree. It just seems like my one and only role has been drill sargeant, or maybe it's referee, or even arbiter. Okay, maybe I've had more than one role, but the point is that it hasn't been a fun one. Endless arguments and tantrums and screaming and melodramatic tears seem to be the name of the game. And in those hard moments, I cannot even fathom adding another one into the mix. Only by the grace of God.

My one pathetic attempt at breaking from our mundane weekday routine and having some fun was a complete bust and sent this pregnant girl home in embarassing tears, wondering, "Why do I even try?" and listening to the unhappy screams of a toddler who was denied a trip to the park. I'm not even trying to have a pity party here, just relaying the not-so-fun events of my week to this point. (I did, however, win first prize at bunco Monday night while my sweet mom and tired husband tag-teamed in a house full of crazy, hyper kids.)

But, despite all the tears and tantrums, I find myself thankful. Because I know, as hard as some days are, I have much to be thankful for and my life is pretty much a cake walk. One particular thing that has been on my mind is just the privilege of being able to go outside and feel the warm spring sunshine and the refreshing spring breeze on my skin. One of the blogs I read is written by this woman who has a terrible, debilitating disease that has even caused her such severe allergies that she cannot leave her condo. Ever. She lives alone with her little dog and is in constant pain, but her outlook on life is amazing. But, one day in this post, she admitted she was having a hard time with not being able to go outside and enjoy spring. Ever since then, I've been trying to drink in the experience of going outside, turning my face to the sun, listening to the sound of the birds, and just enjoying God's creation. I'm totally not an outside girl, but once you think of it being taken from you for the rest of your time on earth, it gives you a new appreciation for it.

All that to say, my life ain't so bad. And in the midst of all the daily struggles of life in general, I'm trying to appreciate the sun, the wind, the flowers, and God's grace. And I get to go to bunco again tomorrow night. What more could a girl ask for?