Who Knew I Was Insecure?
Yesterday, I was blessed to get the chance to go to the Beth Moore simulcast So Long, Insecurity with three other friends. Thankfully, we didn't get blown away by a tornado at any point during the day, and Chris and the kids survived the day with only one boo-boo. One of my friends had invited me to go, and I said yes mainly because I've attended one other Beth Moore event and it was very impactful for me. I don't read a lot of her books or do a lot of her Bible studies because I'm always involved in Community Bible Study, which takes most of my formal Bible study time. (Pretty sure I just set the record for how many times I could use "Bible study" in one sentence.) But, of course, I'm glad I went because I took away some great spiritual wisdom, and we had an absolutely delicious lunch of chicken salad, broccoli salad, and banana pudding. Naturally, I place MUCH more value on the spiritual side of things, though! :)
I hadn't really thought much about the topic of insecurity leading up to the event, so the main thing I really took away from it is that I'm a pretty insecure person. Who knew? It really just helped me label many things I deal with as "insecurity," which, in turn, will hopefully help me learn how to deal with them. Some examples of insecurity rearing its head in my life are: 1) The way I go over and over in my head all the things I said and did in a conversation I just had. It's really annoying. I replay the whole thing and analyze everything I've said and the manner in which I said it, looking for things that could have been taken the wrong way, were inappropriate, or were just plain stupid. I'm worried what the other person thought of me! 2) The way I doubt everything I ever think God says to me. I have those moments when I'm sure it's Him speaking, but about five minutes later I begin the process of telling myself I just made it up and He surely wouldn't be speaking to me! 3) The way I'm too chicken to do the things I'm not so sure God said because I feel inadequate or worry what others will think. 4) The way I compare myself to others, especially other moms, to see how I'm measuring up.
Okay, I could go on, but you get the idea. The point of saying all that is not to reveal my complete insanity or to force anyone to say encouraging things to me...it's just to point out some real-life ways that insecurity can paralyze or debilitate us. It's the enemy's tool to make us ineffective for God, and in its most basic form is disbelief of God and pride. We must realize and come to fully believe that we are COMPLETELY forgiven by God for things in our distant and not-so-distant past, that we are UNCONDITIONALLY and UNCEASINGLY loved by God and that God has a purpose and calling for our lives. Once we honestly come to believe these truths (which sound simple, but aren't really), we must begin to live them out, even if we don't yet FEEL them. As our minds become imbedded with His Truth, we make decisions to change our actions, and then, eventually, our emotions will follow.
The two main reasons I feel compelled to live a life secure in Christ and completely free from the bondage of insecurity are to bring God glory by being an effective member of His kingdom and to be an example to my daughter of one who is living free from the expectations of society and other people (even her parents) and totally secure in who I am in Christ. One final tidbit: I loved the illustration of our "love cup." (My friend Beth didn't actually call it that, but I think it works.)We all have a cup that we need to be filled up with love. We spend much of our lives as women holding our empty (or only half-full cup) out for others to fill up. When others don't give us the love and approval we need, which they'll never be able to do, we become embittered and insecure with who we are and our worth. But when we've allowed Christ to totally satisfy our need for love and acceptance, we go out into our day with a cup not needing to be filled but always spilling out its overflowing love on others. We are free to NOT be pridefully focused on ourselves and instead to look outward and begin to share the love of Christ with others who need their cup filled. We are free to show love and grace, even to those we deem unworthy, because we know we have been shown love and grace, though we were unworthy.
Even today, I've been struggling to put off my old, insecure self, and put on my new identity in Christ. But I pray I'll continue to make that decision each and every day until Christ has transformed me into a woman who is not always seeking the love and acceptance of others, but who is comfortable and confident in her love and acceptance by the only One who truly matters.
Ephesians 4: 22You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
I hadn't really thought much about the topic of insecurity leading up to the event, so the main thing I really took away from it is that I'm a pretty insecure person. Who knew? It really just helped me label many things I deal with as "insecurity," which, in turn, will hopefully help me learn how to deal with them. Some examples of insecurity rearing its head in my life are: 1) The way I go over and over in my head all the things I said and did in a conversation I just had. It's really annoying. I replay the whole thing and analyze everything I've said and the manner in which I said it, looking for things that could have been taken the wrong way, were inappropriate, or were just plain stupid. I'm worried what the other person thought of me! 2) The way I doubt everything I ever think God says to me. I have those moments when I'm sure it's Him speaking, but about five minutes later I begin the process of telling myself I just made it up and He surely wouldn't be speaking to me! 3) The way I'm too chicken to do the things I'm not so sure God said because I feel inadequate or worry what others will think. 4) The way I compare myself to others, especially other moms, to see how I'm measuring up.
Okay, I could go on, but you get the idea. The point of saying all that is not to reveal my complete insanity or to force anyone to say encouraging things to me...it's just to point out some real-life ways that insecurity can paralyze or debilitate us. It's the enemy's tool to make us ineffective for God, and in its most basic form is disbelief of God and pride. We must realize and come to fully believe that we are COMPLETELY forgiven by God for things in our distant and not-so-distant past, that we are UNCONDITIONALLY and UNCEASINGLY loved by God and that God has a purpose and calling for our lives. Once we honestly come to believe these truths (which sound simple, but aren't really), we must begin to live them out, even if we don't yet FEEL them. As our minds become imbedded with His Truth, we make decisions to change our actions, and then, eventually, our emotions will follow.
The two main reasons I feel compelled to live a life secure in Christ and completely free from the bondage of insecurity are to bring God glory by being an effective member of His kingdom and to be an example to my daughter of one who is living free from the expectations of society and other people (even her parents) and totally secure in who I am in Christ. One final tidbit: I loved the illustration of our "love cup." (My friend Beth didn't actually call it that, but I think it works.)We all have a cup that we need to be filled up with love. We spend much of our lives as women holding our empty (or only half-full cup) out for others to fill up. When others don't give us the love and approval we need, which they'll never be able to do, we become embittered and insecure with who we are and our worth. But when we've allowed Christ to totally satisfy our need for love and acceptance, we go out into our day with a cup not needing to be filled but always spilling out its overflowing love on others. We are free to NOT be pridefully focused on ourselves and instead to look outward and begin to share the love of Christ with others who need their cup filled. We are free to show love and grace, even to those we deem unworthy, because we know we have been shown love and grace, though we were unworthy.
Even today, I've been struggling to put off my old, insecure self, and put on my new identity in Christ. But I pray I'll continue to make that decision each and every day until Christ has transformed me into a woman who is not always seeking the love and acceptance of others, but who is comfortable and confident in her love and acceptance by the only One who truly matters.
Ephesians 4: 22You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
As always, thanks for keeping it real and transparent Amy!
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