Why Am I Still Awake?

I cannot count the number of times in the past 20ish years that I have promised myself upon waking up tired and grumpy in the morning that I would DEFINITELY go to bed earlier that night. I will try to convince myself that it absolutely WILL happen, no matter what...which brings me some comfort in my grogginess and something to hope for. I cannot imagine why that would give me any comfort because I almost never follow through with my promise to myself.

It seems God has wired me to be a night owl, whether I like it or not. There are many nights, like tonight, that I AM tired and the thought of bedtime is inviting, yet I cannot let things go. Since I have adopted my new, laid-back, it-can-wait-until-tomorrow approach to life, I seem to let things go for approximately 48 hours. At that point, my natural, anal, stressed-out self returns and all things that have been "let go" for that 2-day time period must now be done, no matter the cost.

However, God has a sense of humor, for while He created me to be a neat-freak, gotta-have-it-done-yesterday kinda girl, He also fashioned me so that I actually don't like to work. So, here is what happens: I make my to-do list of about 10 things that I must get done in the next 1-2 days, I stress about how I will get all those things done, I complain to anyone who will listen (or to the wall) about how much I don't want to do most of the things on my list (especially if it includes cleaning bathrooms, which it almost always does), I waste my time on the computer reading blogs and/or updating my own, then I stay up really late getting the things on my list done.

Who knew there could be a clean-freak, perfectionist, and procrastinator all in one? I just have one thing to say about that...it's not easy being green, I mean - me.

Comments

  1. Hey, this is Laura (Claire's mom). I just had to comment, because oh my word! Did I write this blog? Are you me? Well, my letting-it-go fuse may be just a little longer than yours, but everything else is the same. I HATE the chores, but it drives me crazy when the house is wrecked, and if it's coming down to the wire, I get all stressed out about it. I keep saying that I either need to just be neater as a rule, or stop caring so much! But failing both at the same time is exhausting!

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  2. Hmmm...I'm reading this at 1am...having waited until about 11pm to finish the laundry and clean the kitchen. And I was complaining to my husband about being tired now that Evan is sleeping through the night.
    Love the blog - wish I could remember to keep mine up....
    Melissa

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  3. So glad I'm not the only one!

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