I do not care for stressful situations, especially when they involve making last-minute decisions that involve other people and fairly large sums of money. I'm a girl who likes to have a plan and likes for that plan to work out smoothly. Unfortunately, it seems that more times than not, I find myself in situations where my plans go down the toilet and I'm left a big ball of nerves. I suppose God could be teaching me to trust in Him and His plan, but this morning, He didn't seem willing to let me in on what His plan actually was.

We've been trying to do something nice for some people, while also involving our small group from church and getting them involved in ministry. Well, we're now on Plan D (at least) and not so many people from our group were able to help out. I'm very thankful for the ones who are giving of themselves to minister today, but, in the end, all the planning and outcome rested on the very frail shoulders of Amy and her supportive husband. This whole event really does not involve me using any of my strengths, other than possibly organizational skills, but it's hard to organize an event that completely changes every few days. I'm NOT a good hostess, I'm NOT a fun party girl, and I'm NOT good at last minute. In the end, the fact that I'm NOT a good last-minute decision maker was my biggest problem, I think. All of this to say, God had me in a place where I had nowhere to turn but to Him and I honestly felt that He just wasn't communicating with me.

At this point, we've made a decision - and hopefully one that hasn't ruined anyone else's day. Plan D is a go, and I'm not even worried about forking out a little extra money, just because I'm so relieved to have a viable plan. I still feel pretty abandoned by God (though I know He's right here and if there is a communication problem, it lies with me) and like the whole thing is a big flop. The next few days will be spent seeking Him and what He wants me to learn from this whole thing. Needless to say, I'm going to be a little gun-shy about sticking my neck out and planning things in the future. I just pray that the very capable God of the Universe brings beauty and fun from the ashes of my weak human plans and abilities. If nothing else, I'm reminded that "we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us."


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