Well Hello, Life

This summer was a little of what I expected and a lot of what I didn't. We're spoiled around here because not only do the kids get off for summer, but so does Daddy. We still have to keep up with laundry and a little cleaning and there are usually a few projects to do around the house, but we're mostly all about fun. The only bad thing about it is, it ends. And the ending seems brutal, trading in lazy mornings for alarm clocks, afternoons of playing outside for afternoons of homework, and a wonderful oblivion as to what day of the week it is for a structured, hectic schedule every day of the week.

What the Lord always shows me in these times of refreshment, rest, and fun is that we're really made to work, to accomplish, to have a sense of purpose. I see us get a little too selfish at times. A little too lazy. A little too unwilling to work hard. While the Lord so graciously provides times of refreshment, it is often in the busy, the challenging, the difficult, the work of life that we lose ourselves and find Him.

I hope to find Him as I and my family head back into real life tomorrow. I'm puzzled at His ways and decisions. Heartbroken for some and confused about many things in my own life, I just need Jesus. I've asked to see Him in all of this gaining and then losing the unexpected we've been doing. I've asked to see Him as I watch others suffer. I've longed to hear His voice and feel His arms, but it hasn't happened yet. I hope all of that is just around the corner, waiting for me as real life begins again.

But what I have to remember is that when I don't feel or see Him, He is there. He has a purpose, though I cannot fathom it. And my part is to love Him and love others. So as I kiss my sad big girl as she heads to a classroom without friends, and as I hug my son who I struggle with on most days, and as I wave goodbye to my husband who does so much for us and is so overwhelmed by it all right now, and as I leave behind the hope of a new life in our family, and as I hug a little more tightly the two little guys I still have at home, I will just have to trust that He has it all under control. Because my mind is done analyzing and my heart is tired of worrying and my body is still not back to its normal self. All I have is Jesus. And He should be is enough.

So goodbye wonderful, hard, fun, frustrating summer. And hello, life. I'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning.


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