Lucky Thirteen

Wuv. Twu wuv. I can’t think of marriage without thinking of that priest at the end of The Princess Bride. So funny.

Chris and I have been married for thirteen years yesterday. I remember the weeks leading up to our wedding when I would try to imagine what it would be like to wake up next to each other everyday, introduce him as my husband, and share a bank account. I never imagined four kids in that equation or Chris being a school teacher or the massive amounts of laundry I’d be doing. All in all, though, it’s been a wonderful and blessed thirteen.

I wish I’d known back then, as I dreamed of all the googly eyes we’d make at each other everyday or the way we’d love our precious children who would never cry or whine or puke on us, so many of the things I do now. And, thirteen years from now, I hope I’ll be putting some of this knowledge I’ve attained into practice. Chris does, too. Ha!

I wish I’d known that marriage is about so much more than two people who have butterflies in their stomach when they’re together, or apart. It’s about so much more than getting to see each other first thing in the morning and last thing at night. It’s about more than making lots of babies together and buying your first home and eating dinner together every night. It’s about more than finding your happiness in another person and fighting and pouting when that other person fails to make you happy. It’s about more than standing your ground or compromising or losing or winning or hating or loving. It’s about more than picking up someone’s dirty clothes for years or overlooking the fact that they never clean out the dryer lint thingy (that would be me) or taking vacations together.

Like everything else in life, whether we acknowledge it or not, it’s about Jesus Christ. God modeled marriage after Jesus and his church, not the other way around. Marriage was created to be a daily, fleshed-out example of the Gospel. Jesus (the groom) is in charge, but He leads lovingly, sacrificially. The church is the beloved bride. Having been served by the One who loves her, she serves and submits willingly, happily, trusting that her beloved knows best. And over it all…forgiveness. grace. love. humility.

We are wronged, we forgive. We don’t get our way, we submit. We live our lives to please the other, and in that death to ourselves, we find life. Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not boast. It is not proud. It does not keep a record of wrongs. It is not selfish. It is all about Jesus. And if it is all about Jesus, it becomes all about our spouse.

One of the greatest gifts I’ve been given in this life is a husband who seeks to lead like Christ. He falls short a lot, but I fall short more. But even when he falls, I know his heart is on the Lord, and that should be enough for me to gladly submit, trust, encourage, and help. The trick is, though, that my part in this whole thing doesn’t depend on his and vice versa. My part depends on Jesus and it is only through Him that I can be the wife I should be and want to be.

I’m so thankful for a husband who is patient with me, SOOO patient with me, as I seek to live a Christ-like life. And I’m so thankful for Jesus, who has blessed us with the privilege of a built-in witness through our marriage. Every moment we are blessed to spend together as husband and wife is a moment we can be Jesus to this world. So what God has joined together, let no man or woman separate. This is about so much more than us.


  1. I love this post Amy. So true. I am so glad God gave us marriage and that He believes marriage is a good thing. That it reflects Him and His love for us. And I am so glad that He made marriage hard and difficult so we would learn to look to Him. And I am so glad He made marriage wonderful and fun and delightful so we can look forward to the Marriage Banquet in heaven even more.

  2. We celebrated our 13th in October and it's amazing how much my love has changed and deepened over the years. Great post and congratulations!!!


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