Please Don't Judge My Whole Blog by This Post

About every other post I write, after I publish it and get in the shower (doesn’t everybody shower after they write?), I have this feeling that maybe I’ve already written that very same thing before. I always end up hoping that if I can’t remember then the fourteen people who read this stuff won’t remember either. So, if I’ve already written the stuff in this post in any previous posts, just humor me and don’t mention it. Thanks!

I will also warn you that if you want words with meat or even words that are slightly entertaining, you best stop reading this now and immediately find another blog - or google "church of the flying spaghetti monster". That would fall under the entertaining category, or possibly the spiritually disturbing. On second thought, just stick with me.

So, Lukey is our resident comedian. Sometimes he means to be funny and sometimes it’s purely on accident. So many of the things he says, though, are so much funnier when you hear him say it in that cute little way that he talks. If you’d like to come hang out with us for a few days and get the full effect, you’re welcome to…if you’ll also commit to cooking dinner.

Lately, he does this question thing. At first, he starts out with the typical “why” stuff.

L: What’s that kind of car?
Chris: It’s a van.
L: Why?

L: What’s this crunchy stuff I’m walking on?
Chris: Grass.
L: Why?

You get my drift. I’m pretty sure that “why” is not a valid question in these instances, but Luke would disagree.

But then he takes it to this whole other Lukey level.

Me: Luke, move your cup back from the edge of the table.
L: Why?Me: So you won’t spill your milk.
L: What if we dooz spill our milk?

Me: Luke, quit hitting your brother in the head with that.
L: Why?
Me: So you won’t hurt Sam and make him cry.
L: What if he dooz cry?

It’s like he’s just weighing all his options…just making sure he wants to go with my suggestion rather than play it dangerously and see what happens.

(FYI: We strongly suggest they not say “Oh my gosh.”) Yesterday, he said, “Oh my go-…heavens.” I said, “Lukey, what’s oh my heavens?” He answered, “I don’t know. I don’t have any heavens.”

He’s so sweet, too. He’ll frequently show me his “sweet face” and say, “You’re my best mommy I ever had,” or “Sam’s the best baby I ever had.”

The other night I was giving Maddie and Jack what-for after listening to five minutes of them fighting over something as important as who was going to zip up Jack’s jacket so Maddie could fold it and make it a “jacket baby.” Luke sat between me and Jack on the couch as I laid it on heavy, his eyes wide and his mouth still, for once. I glanced over at him, to which he quickly said, with an alarmed look on his face, “Why you lookin’ at me like that? I not in trouble. Don’t be mad.”

I’ll stop boring you now with all the things I think are funny about my kid that others couldn’t care less about. I know there have been some really funny moments lately, but I’m too indifferent to try to remember them, much less write them down when they happen. Just thought I’d share some Lukeyisms in case you’re having trouble sleeping and the whole sheep thing isn’t working out.

To give you a preview, we had a really great advent experience tonight that I’m eager to share, but I’m heading to bed for right now. We have a puker, so I don’t know how much sleep this night will actually bring me. Better snatch it while I can. And if I’m MIA for a few days, it probably means we’re all puking our guts out. Lord, have mercy.